... To Do Some Serious Seasonal Research ...
In Her Annual Survey of
The Worst Christmas Songs Ever
She Keeps Finding Worse Ones
Nice outfits, Twisted Sister, but a little less percussion would have been more evocative of the carols we children used to sing in school back in the day schools had Christmas pageants:
This maudlin entry is Newsweek's nomination. The group is NewSong, a Christian "rock" group. One of the singers, Eddie Carswell, wrote the song all by hisself, based on a chain letter. Kevin Fallon of Newsweek has the story for anyone writing a paper on the history of shlock. I could not listen to the song all the way through:
BUT Patton Oswalt listened for me and explains the logic of the song's narrative. He includes this theological exegis: "I died for your sins, but those pumps are unforgivable":
... Sorry, John Denver, "Christmas Shoes" beat out your perennial favorite "Please, Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas."
Apparently Lady Gaga is an acquired taste. It's difficult to imagine a more salacious "Christmas carol":
Mariah Carey gives it the old college try, but doesn't come even close. The implied pedophilia is a nice touch, though:
Speaking of kids, in case you thought you were missing something by not knowing squat about boy groups -- this video should reassure you you're way better off. I keep forgetting how totally talentless these kids are. And they told us the lip-syncing Monkeys were bad:
Really, Madonna, how could you? (It's an awful song, but Eartha Kitt at least knew what to do with it):
Somehow I don't think Clarence Carter was really into the spirit of the season (out of an abundance of kindness, I'm not embedding Jon bon Jovi's version of "Back Door Santa":
Bob Dylan's "It Must Be Santa" is so bad I run it every year, & now I've come to enjoy it, albeit in a perverse way:
AND to make up for all that, the best bank commercial in history -- produced by the Banc Sabadell & performed in Plaça de Sant Roc in Sabadell, a town north of Barcelona. Thank you once again, Ludwig:
... Contributor James S. recommends ...
... That's Clyde McPhatter & the Drifters.