The Wires

The Ledes

Sunday, September 24, 2017.

Weather Channel: Hurricane Maria, a Category 2 hurricane, is increasingly likely to bring a brush of at least tropical storm-force winds and rain to parts of the East Coast later this week, in addition to its more certain impacts of coastal flooding, high surf, and rip currents."

Public Service Announcement

September 9: The New York Times reports that Equifax is doing nothing to protect you if hackers to its system gained access to your personal information. In fact, Equifax has a plan to make money on your misfortune. Reporter Ron Lieber has some suggestions about what you can do to protect yourself from Equifax & its hackers. Equifax is providing no good way to find out if you've been affected; it is apparently just trying to hook as many suckers as it can into getting a "free" account, but you can bet it won't stay free. Read the story if you'd like to feel helpless & enraged.

The New Yorker has links to Lillian Ross's stories here. The New Yorker is subscription-only but allows non-subscribers to read six stories a month, so if you're not a subscriber, you may want to open the page in a private window.

Mrs. McCrabbie: When the Emmy folks are looking to give out prizes next year, they should think Jimmy Kimmel.

Some highlights of the Emmys:

... To watch the whole monologue, go to YouTube & type something like "stephen colbert monologue emmys". There are quite a few pirated copies up right now, but CBS will certainly take them down, so none will be posted here. The Washington Post has some of the transcript here.

Former star of "The Apprentice" finally gets his Emmy:

Kim Weeks in the Washington Post: "Hillary Clinton revealed this week she turned to an esoteric breathing technique popular among yogis to heal from her devastating election loss.... By bringing this kind of breath work into the mainstream, Clinton has introduced the world to a practice that has both proven mental and physical health benefits.... In nadi shodhana, the process of literally alternating breathing between the right and left nostril also helps balance the right and left brain, the right and left lungs, and the right and left sides of the body. Alternate nostril breathing has been shown to slow down a rapid heart rate and to lower blood pressure." ...

... Mrs. Bea McCrabbie: Okay, I tried it. I can do the left nostril but not the right. That stressed me out.

Hill: "Melissa McCarthy brought home an Emmy this weekend for her memorable impression of former press secretary Sean Spicer on Saturday Night Live. The actress won an Emmy for best comedy actress on a comedy series at the Emmy’s creative arts awards Sunday, according to the Associated Press. The awards are a precursor to the main show next weekend." Spicer panned McCarthy's impression.

New York Times: "Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair, plans to step down from the magazine in December after a 25-year tenure, leaving the role that established him as a ringmaster of the Hollywood, Washington and Manhattan power elite. Mr. Carter’s influence stretched from the magazine and entertainment worlds into finance, literature and politics, where President Trump, a target of Mr. Carter’s poison pen for decades, still bristles at the mention of his name. One of the few remaining celebrity editors in an industry whose fortunes have faded, Mr. Carter — famous for double-breasted suits, white flowing hair and a seven-figure salary — is a party host, literary patron, film producer and restaurateur whose cheeky-yet-rigorous brand of reporting influenced a generation of journalists.... Spy[a magazine Carter co-founded,] took special glee in attacking Mr. Trump, whom the magazine memorably deemed a 'short-fingered vulgarian.' (The insult stuck: just last week, Mr. Trump referred to his 'too big' hands during a visit to Houston.)"

New York Times: "Tronc, the publisher of The Los Angeles Times and The Chicago Tribune, announced on Monday that it had acquired The Daily News, the nearly 100-year-old tabloid that for decades set the city’s agenda with its gossip, sports and city coverage. The deal represents the end of an era for The News, which was long a voice for New York’s working class. It may also signal the end of the political influence of its owner, the real estate magnate Mortimer B. Zuckerman, who often used the paper’s bold, front-page headline — known as 'the wood' — for commentary about candidates and politicians, locally and nationally."

Guardian (Sept. 4): "The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting a third child, Kensington Palace has announced. The announcement was made as the duchess was forced to cancel an engagement on Monday because of extreme morning sickness, or hyperemesis gravidarum."

Speaking of Finland, as we were in relation to Donald Trump's complete lack of concern about Russian aggression, a remark he repeated in front of President Sauli Niinistö of neighboring Finland, because who cares?, the Finnish police procedural "Bordertown," which is streaming on Netflix is pretty good. Not sure if it comes dubbed, but Mr. McCrabbie & I like to listen to languages, so we were fine with subtitles. The "bordertown" borders Russia. -- Mrs. Bea McCrabbie 

The only thing I’d be impartial about is what prison this guy goes to. -- Prospective Juror, Martin Shkreli trial ...

... Harper's republishes some of the jury selection proceedings in the Martin Shkreli case.

Saturday
Jul152017

In Jared's Defense

Yesterday we learned this:

Carly Sitrin of Vox: "Jared Kushner's lawyers say there's an innocent explanation for why his first security clearance application omitted his meetings with several Russians, including Sergey Kislyak and Natalia Veselnitskaya: A member of Kushner’s staff hit send on his form too early. But the thing is, there isn’t one 'send button' for this kind of security clearance form. There are 28.... Kushner filed his first SF-86 (a government document to amend his security clearance) in January and omitted any meetings with foreign government officials. In May, he submitted a revised security clearance form with more than 100 foreign names, including a meeting with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak, but still did not include the meeting with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya revealed in Donald Trump Jr.’s emails.... CBS News reported Friday that the Veselnitskaya meeting was later conveyed to the FBI and included in a third version of the form before July."

** UPDATE: . So here's another ridiculous excuse that Kushner's team of lawyers has actually proffered. Asawin Suebsaeng & Lachlan Markay of the Daily Beast: "According to a source familiar with the situation, speaking to The Daily Beast on the condition of anonymity to discuss the matter, Kushner claims that he did not scan to the bottom of the email thread forwarded by his brother-in-law, therefore completely missing the part about 'Russia and its government.'... Kushner’s claim that he didn’t know precisely what was in the 'confidential' 'Russia' and 'Clinton' email sent to him sounds familiar, only because it’s the same explanation, or excuse, that Manafort has been shopping.”

Kushner has at least a couple of Washington's most able lawyers working for him. Yet the best these geniuses could come up with was, "My secretary accidentally hit 'send' 28 times." AND NOW, "I got the emails, but I didn't read them." OR "What Paul said."

So I thought I'd help them out with some less risible excuses for failing to name some of the 100+ foreign nationals with whom he met. Please add your own.

Geographical Confusion:

I didn't know he was a foreign national. I thought Canada was a state, right between Montana & Alaska.

Argentina is in South America, for Pete's sake. That's America was a capital "A." That's not foreign.

My mother-in-law is from the Czech Republic. I don't think of her as foreign. Why would I think of anyone else from around there as foreign?

My other mother-in-law is from Slovenia. I don't think of her as foreign. Why would I think of anyone else from around there as foreign?

We were in Scotland. When you're in Scotland, the Scottish people aren't foreign nationals. You are. Did you expect me to write down my own name?

Language Barrier:

His English was so good, I thought he was an American.

She didn't speak a word of English. I had no idea where she was from. I figured maybe Brighton Beach.

The Lousy Help:

My secretary couldn't spell his name. It seemed like a waste of time to include him on the form.

My secretary forgot to write it on my calendar.

Technical Difficulties:

Something went wrong with my phone while it was charging, & it deleted the meeting.

My pen ran out of ink.

I gave my notepad to a Breitbart reporter.

Auditory Problems:

They met me backstage at the convention. It was so noisy, I had no idea who they were.

I have an untreatable earwax problem. Also why I never served in the military.

Otherwise Occupied:

I was programming a new app for my iPhone.

I was texting my children. I'm a family-values guy.

I was texting my wife. She was having trouble with the girls at the factory in Bangladesh.

I was whispering in Donald's ear so he'd feel better & I missed what-all was going on.

The campaign was so hectic, I felt like I was in two places at one time. I wrote down the other place.

It Depends on What the Meaning of the Word "Meeting" Is:

It wasn't really a meeting. I sat there for only about 10 minutes. It was more a coffee break. Definitely not a meeting.

It wasn't my meeting. I popped my head in to somebody else's meeting, but I didn't know what was going on. (See also earwax.)

Miscellaneous:

She said she was a naturalized citizen. I believed her.

Eric told me she was a naturalized citizen. I believed him.

I forgot.


P.S. monoloco's contribution to yesterday's thread is hilarious.

Reader Comments (2)

Too, too funny! I NEEDED this!

Haven't been posting the past few days, just so fed up with the damn ongoing Trumpian saga that I need to stand back and occupy my mind elsewhere, my rants were getting exhausted...as was I. But, reading this is a splash of water much needed...Marie, this is hilarious...it should go viral!

July 15, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMAG

Premature e-documentation.
Or, I did not have text with that woman.

July 16, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterForrest Morris
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.