Different Rules
CW: I did respond to MoDo's column, but the Times didn't publish it for 12-14 hours after her column went up, so my comment is difficult to find. Here it is:
Yeah, you're right. But there are four quasi-viable candidates left in the presidential nominating races, and not a one of them says "I'm sorry" for even outrageous distortions, outright lies or flagrant lapses of judgment. The rules of decorum for presidential candidates are different from the rules for the rest of us.
All of these top candidates believe the words, "I'm sorry" are a sign of weakness. And their success suggests they're right.
Most women are good at saying "I'm sorry," to a fault. We say it even when we have nothing to be sorry about. It's a nearly automatic response to the most minor exchange. "I'm sorry the elevator is slow." "I'm sorry the grocery store was out of your brand of cornflakes." Apologies are expected of us. They demonstrate that we are polite, deferential, caring, non-assertive -- and feminine.
That is precisely why Hillary can't say "I'm sorry." When and if she does, her opponents will accuse her of being a weak girly-girl, not up to the tough job of president.
Any feminist gets that. Maureen Dowd should, too. If being a presidential candidate means never having to say you're sorry, it applies to all candidates, not just the ones who are boys.
Reader Comments (2)
There have been many articles recently about how women should not say "sorry" so much. https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/01/04/sorry-language-shamers-but-women-just-dont-need-your-new-email-policing-app/
Good one, Marie. It seems to me that Clinton did say she had "MADE A MISTAKE" re: her vote on Iraq. And sometimes, after making mistakes and learning from them, it behoves one to say, "What difference does it make" now when it's crystal clear one has learned from those mistakes. "Sorry" sounds vapid––something we women want to shy away from.