Happy Generic Holiday
In our continuing effort to identify The Real Santa Claus, here are a few highlights:
Yesterday, contributor Dave S. led us to this summary of the origins & evolution of Santa Claus by Brian Handwerk for the National Geographic. Here's an even more abbreviated version from the History Channel:
A Holiday Gift from Contributor Mae F.: "Six to Eight Black Men" by David Sedaris:, who elaborates on the Dutch Sinterklaas:
... The text (plus audio & illustrations) is here. ...
The "Real" Sinterklaas arrives in Amsterdam (or someplace) from Spain (or someplace.) He is accompanies by six or eight Zwarte Piet.Leo Cendrowicz of the Guardian: "While families exchange presents and eat cakes to welcome Santa Claus's slimmer and more sober ancestor, criticism of the crude depictions of his sidekick, known locally as Zwarte Piet, has reached the United Nations. The clown is usually portrayed by a white person in blackface, who goes around offering sweets to good children and, according to legend, threatens to collect naughty ones in a sack to be taken to Zwarte Piet's home in Spain. But he is increasingly reviled by critics as a racist relic of Christmases past." CW: Zwarte Piet, surely coming to a Southern U.S. town any day now. To voice disapproval of this holy tradition would be trampling on the First Amendment, I'll betcha. You think Sarah Palin looks great in "Duck Dynasty" camo? Wait till you see her in Zwarte Piet blackface.
The Science of Santa:
Still, I'm going with the clues Dylan gives us in this thoroughly-researched analysis (reprised from my "Worst Christmas Songs Ever -- 2012"):
David Edwards of the Raw Story: "An African-America Santa Claus was shot in the back with a pellet gun during a toy giveaway in Washington, D.C. on Christmas Eve -- and the whole thing was caught on video by a local news crew."
Politico has a Santa Quiz. I flunked.
Delia Ephron has a Christmas Manners Quiz in the New York Times. Unlike Politico, she does not provide correct answers. However, she has given me some ideas on how to react to the bizarre & merely awkward happenings at holiday gatherings.
New York Times. Thanks to MAG for the link.
NEW. Also via MAG, Gary Shteyngart, in a New York Times op-ed, on "the Most Unknowable Time of the Year."
Dario Thuburn of AFP: "Pope Francis held his first Christmas Eve mass in the Vatican by highlighting the role played by humble shepherds in the Nativity, as thousands flocked to the historic site of Jesus's birth in Bethlehem."
The Christ's Penis. Lee Siegel in the New Yorker: "A credo of the Franciscan order was nudus nudum Christum sequi ('follow naked the naked Christ'). It was a radical call to cast aside worldly wealth and belongings and acknowledge the fragile, fallen nature of all men and women. But in casting aside Christ's garments, the Franciscans made Christ's nude body a focal point. As a result, according to [scholar Leo] Steinberg, from about the middle of the thirteenth century until the sixteenth century artists lavished particular care on Christ's penis, the part of Christ's body that made him most mortal, and which proved his union with humankind.... Pope Francis could well agree with Steinberg, who lamented that the human Christ disappeared 'as modern Christianity distanced itself from its mythic roots; as the person of Jesus was refined into all doctrine and message, the kerygma of a Christianity without Christ.' ... One might add that in our own epoch the Catholic Church's denial of Christ's sexuality runs parallel to its denial of human sexuality, taboos that resurface in once scandal after another."
Capitalist Jesus. Richard Schiffman of AlterNet in the San Diego Free Press: "The King James Bible, not to mention more recent translations like the New International Version (NIV), are veritable primers of progressive agitprop, complains Andy Schlafly, the founder of Conservapedia.com. (His mother [is] Phyllis.) ... Andy Schlafly's group ... have invited ... the 'best of the public,' whose assistance is solicited in proposing new wording for left-leaning Bible verses.... What they are looking for is not exactly egghead scholarship, but a knack for using words they've read in the Wall Street Journal. They have a list of promising candidates on their website -- words like capitalism, work ethic, death penalty, anticompetitive, elitism, productivity, privatize, pro-life -- all of which are conspicuously missing from those socialist-inspired Bibles...."Via David Edwards.
Dancing Ladies Get Big Raise. Katrina Bishop of CNBC (Dec. ): "The cost of buying your true love all the gifts named in the holiday song 'The 12 Days of Christmas' has shot up in 2013, according to a holiday-themed index, significantly outpacing the rate of U.S. inflation.... The biggest riser on the index was the nine ladies dancing, which increased in price by 20 percent over the year."
Elon Gilad of Haaretz writes a brief history of Christmas celebrations.
Amanda Marcotte in the Raw Story: "Keep the Saturn in Saturnalia": There "really is a fear [among some Christians] that if non-Christians are allowed an equal space in society, then people, especially young people, might start to realize that you don't have to be a Christian. And, let's be blunt: A huge chunk of people, upon finding out they don't have to be Christians, are going to say, 'Well fuck that then, I'm sleeping in on Sundays.'" ...
Saturnalia festival in Chester, England. No Christians were burned at the stake nor did the "Roman" soldiers declare a war on Christmas.
... Oh, to be in England now that Saturnalia's here. In Chester, England, near the Wales border, "crowds" are "delighted" by the annual celebration of Saturnalia. Torch-lighting is part of the parade festivities, not -- as in New Jersey -- one of numerous attempts by Christians to destroy a Saturnalia billboard.
SNL's "I Wish It Was Christmas Today" has made past Worst lists (I think this is SNL's second version). ...
... Update: Video removed as it started loading automatically. You can still find this classic here. ...
... I did not intend to run the "Worst Christmas Songs Ever" feature this year. But SNL outdid itself last week, so I can't resist adding their entry:
Antidote, from the 1998 Winter Olympics:
Presidential Weekly Address:
News Ledes
Guardian: "Utility crews from Maine to Michigan and into Canada worked on Wednesday to restore power to more than half a million homes that were left in the dark by last weekend's ice storm, which has been linked to 27 deaths. In the United States, the death toll from the storm reached at least 17 on Wednesday, from traffic accidents and carbon monoxide fatalities."
Hill: "Iran President Hassan Rouhani is endorsing the spirit of Christmas. Rouhani on Tuesday retweeted two tweets, one by Iran's supreme leader and one by its foreign minister, that focused on the spirit of Christmas. The tweets appear to be a part of a continuing effort by Rouhani to put a friendlier face toward the West."
Washington Post: "A U.S. government contractor kidnapped by al-Qaeda militants in Pakistan in 2011 has recorded a video message calling on the Obama administration to negotiate with his captors, saying he feels 'totally abandoned and forgotten.' Warren Weinstein looked ashen and sounded lethargic as he pleaded for renewed interest in his case and asked the U.S. government to consider releasing al-Qaeda militants in its custody. The 72-year-old development expert from Rockville, Md., began his address by urging President Obama to step up efforts to get him released."
AP: "Egypt's military-backed interim government declared the Muslim Brotherhood a terrorist organization Wednesday, intensifying its campaign of arrests and prosecutions targeting its members and tightening the noose on the group's network of charities and businesses."
Reuters: "Utah's attorney general instructed county clerks on Tuesday to issue marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples requesting them, as ordered by the federal judge who overturned a state ban on same-sex weddings, or risk being held in contempt of court."
AP: "The government's retooled health care website was put to its biggest test yet as record numbers of Americans rushed to beat Tuesday's extended deadline for signing up for insurance.... HealthCare.gov, where people in 36 states can shop for coverage, received 2 million visits Monday, its highest one-day total, the government said. Traffic was not as heavy on Tuesday but still high.... 'The site is performing well under intense consumer traffic,' said Kurt DelBene, a former Microsoft executive appointed last week to take over management of the online marketplace. 'With the highest volumes we have seen to date, response time is fast and the error rating is low.'"
Washington Post: "The price of a first-class letter and most other mail will rise by 3 cents on Jan. 26, the largest rate hike in 11 years, the commission that oversees the U.S. Postal Service announced Tuesday. The stamp-price increase to 49 cents will be in effect for two years, giving the financially struggling agency a temporary infusion of extra revenue intended to help it recoup losses suffered during the economic downturn between 2008 and 2011."
The Gospel According to Sister Sarah
So people who are so insulted and offended by what he said, evidently, are offended by what he was quoting in the Gospel. -- Sarah Palin, after admitting she didn't read the GQ article in which Phil Robertson made grotesque claims about blacks & gays, still insisting Robertson was citing scripture ...
... Wherein Sarah Palin admiWats on-air she has no idea what she's talking about. CW: And here I thought Palin read "um, all of them." Apparently the "vast variety of sources where we get our news" does not include the GQ article whose content she is so intent to defend. ...
... CW: Now, in the spirit of the day, I shall drop my spontaneous snark & admit I feel sorry for Palin. I think she has a severe learning disability. I doubt she can read at a ninth-grade level. She certainly cannot reason like an ordinary adult. If people patiently & repeatedly explain stuff to her in simple terms, she memorizes the catchphrases & can regurgitate them later in a string that -- because she cannot grasp the underlying concepts -- doesn't usually constitute a coherent sentence. She is embarrassed by her disability & is angry at the herculean effort she has always had to make to hide it. Unfortunately, she transfers her self-loathing onto others. Thus, after admitting she does not know what Robertson said, she quickly "recovers" by (a) blithely asserting words she never read are New Testament scripture, & (b) people who took umbrage at them are anti-Christian; that is, they are "insulted and offended" by Christian teachings. This is not the first time I've watched her cover her ignorance by lashing out at others.
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Reader Comments (10)
A truly enchanting "opinion piece" especially suited for this time of year by author, Gary Shteyngart, with memories that transcend: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/25/opinion/its-the-most-unknowable-time-of-the-year.html
Re: Peace on earth and goodwill to all. Like that's goin' to happen.
"Here comes the sun" Da Beatles.
It is the perfect time of the year to throw out the old and ring in the new. So, with that in mind and the realization that I spent ten years in Catholic schools, I beg this question.
I thought, fool that I am, once Brown Jesus gave up his father's trade and started fishing for souls it was a new beginning.
Why is it that people who profess themselves followers of Brown Jesus continue to refer to the OLD testament?
Again, foolish me, did not Brown Jesus reportedly state the number one and two new commandments were to love God and love your fellow man? Everything else is old news.
When is the Christian Right going to give up on scriptures that are out of date, and according to Brown Jesus out of time?
People like Palin, Schafly and Robertson have got the old script.
From what I recall the New Testament could be written on a postcard if you left out the ghost writers.
When I am asked if I am a believer, my first response is, "Of what?" Pressed, I reply, "More than you'll ever know."
I believe I will enjoy a Irish coffee now. Merry "day to all believers of good" day.
In the unlikely event that none of this readership has listened to the complete Santaland Diaries by David Sedaris, most of it can be heard here:
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/47/christmas-and-commerce?act=1
It otherwise can be pieced together on youtube.
And warm good cheer from a lovely freshwhite Minnesota day.
CW: This is a response to a previous post, but is not political in nature. If you see fit to remove it I will understand and not be offended.
JJG: I think you'll find "love G-d" and "love one another" in the "Old Testament", too. Jesus wasn't saying anything new. Hillel was saying "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn." decades before Jesus was born.
The idea that Christianity is somehow more enlightened than Judaism is offensive to Jews, and it should be to Christians as well, as Jesus himself was a Jew.
I have no doubt that if you are seeking G-d and follow the teachings of Jesus you will find Him. But I also have no doubt that if you follow the teachings of Hillel, Maimonides, or Abraham Joshua Heschel you will find Him, too.
I hope you're having a wonderful Christmas, and I hope everyone here at RC who celebrates the holiday finds happiness today and every day.
CW: I agree with you about Palin. She's a person in a terrible place and nothing good will come of it... for her or anyone she tries to help.
Since no one else has mentioned it, I'd like to thank Marie for the embedded video of the Nagano Olympics performance of the Ode to Joy. It was breathtaking. It shows what we could be, but refuse to be. The video was what made it, especially the split-screen views of all the choirs around the world participating.
The video is particularly relevant to the forthcoming Sochi Olympics, where brotherhood seems to be an alien concept for the host country. Perhaps Marie could keep it on tap for reposting when trouble breaks out, as it inevitably will, to give us hope and courage. There are still plenty of people of good will in this world, and many of them can be found here.
Meanwhile, Happy Christmas, Chanukah, Solstice, Yule, Festivus or Whatever to all!
http://psychopath.channel4.com/quizzes.html
Do you wonder if you might be a psychopath? Take the quiz and find out.
Re: The less traveled path; @ Barbarossa, since I consider you, sir, to be one of the more rock solid commentators here I am wondering if you took the quiz and what score you ended up with. I scored a shockingly low 30 percent. I'll work on improvement in the coming new year. Salud.
@Noodge; being the farthest thing from a religious studies expert I welcome your correction and I beg your understanding.
@JJG: I did and scored 38%.
@ JJG: Not a religious studies expert myself; I can only speak to my own experience. I respond to people here from whom I have learned and when I feel I can add something to the conversation. I have learned much from you, CW, Akhilleus, and a number of others over the past year.
Thanks to all of you, and a happy new year to you.