King Donnie's Weekly To-Do List
By Akhilleus
1. Ratchet up tensions in the Middle East. Tell the losers I don't want war but then order troop deployments. That oughta make those towel heads shit their pants. Always keep 'em guessing, is say. Besides, wars are good and easy to win.
Check.
2. Ratchet up the trade war with China. So what if farmers lose and rural Americans have no cell service? As long as they can all still watch Fox, they'll know what a tough and generous king I am. And so what if we have to pay billions in bail out money and hundreds of millions to clean up after my poorly thought out bullshit plans? It's just tax money. And I don't pay taxes. So, hahahahahahaha...
Check.
3. Best of all, continue to make the people investigating MY treason look like traitors themselves. Threaten them with death. Tee-hee. That'll get the Democrat Party hopping.
Check.
Continue to tell congress to fuck off. I'm the king. Who are they? Peasants.
Check.
4. Insult, insult, insult. Attack, attack, attack. Whoever and whatever. Thank you Roy Cohn wherever you are. Best advice evah.
Check, check, check, and check.
5. Go to Japan and piss on the Democrats. Embarrass the shit out of Abe.
Check and check.
6. Ignore warnings from allies, experts, and every intelligence service in the US about North Korea. Kim loves me. He won't do anything without telling me first.
Check
7. Make jokes with the murderous dictator of an antagonistic foreign power (wait, which one? Oh, yeah. This time it's Kim.) about Joe Biden. Or is it Bidan? Who fucking cares? Besides I'm king. I can spell it Bitin' if I want to.
Check
8. Destroy the environment. Fucking Obama thought he could save the planet. Fuck him. And fuck the planet too. I'm the king, I can do whatever I want.
Check, check, and check
9. End the Fourth of July celebrations. From now on, it'll be King Trump Day Celebrations. After all, I deserve it. I'm a very stable genius. (Which reminds me. Call IRS and have them audit that fucking Randy Rainbow.)
Check and check
10. Call the Speaker of the House crazy. How dare she make fun of the king!
BIG CHECK with flowers and hearts and little horses around it.
Well, that's enough for one week. Who says I don't work hard? Trying to start a war, destroy the planet, ruin the economy, and dismantle two centuries of legal precedence while eviscerating the country is hard work.
Yawn....time for a nap, then Egg-zecutive time to listen to my pals at Fox talk about my greatness.
(Editor's note: And this is just one week. Does Nancy Pelosi really need more?)
Reader Comments (3)
The thing is, this is not much of an exaggeration.
Idle digits are the devil's workshop.
Everyone should follow the lead of Nancy Pelosi. Pray for him, ridicule him, make him the fool. All opposition should realize by now that he has no sense of humor and can not stand being laughed at. All his statements should get the response, there he goes again, that silly old man talking silly. Who is watching him, do they know he is out. Ignore him on issues but question his spelling , his thinking, his appearance and his audience of clowns. Do not challenge him on issues as that gives him a chance to give stupid things credence.
Challenge his enablers .Make his Senate defend him on every issue. The Senate must be charged with every act that has harmed the Country. Call attention to the terrible thing that have been done and ignore the things Trump says.
Stop letting Trump establish the day's story.