The Commentariat -- June 6, 2013
Julian Pecquet & Daniel Strauss of the Hill: "Two key Republican senators [John McCain & Bob Corker {Tenn.}] on Wednesday muted their criticism of Susan Rice, saying they would welcome the opportunity to work with her when she assumes the post of President Obama's national security adviser.... Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.), who previously had been softer on Rice than many of his colleagues over Benghazi, said the choice reflects poorly on Obama." ...
... Oh, speaking of the NSA. Glenn Greenwald of the Guardian: "The National Security Agency is currently collecting the telephone records of millions of US customers of Verizon ... under a top secret court order issued in April. The order, a copy of which has been obtained by the Guardian, requires Verizon on an 'ongoing, daily basis' to give the NSA information on all telephone calls in its systems, both within the US and between the US and other countries.... The communication records of millions of US citizens are being collected indiscriminately and in bulk -- regardless of whether they are suspected of any wrongdoing. The secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (Fisa) granted the order to the FBI on April 25, giving the government unlimited authority to obtain the data for a specified three-month period ending on July 19." Thanks to Dave S. for the link. ...
... The New York Times makes this their top story this morning, crediting the Guardian (i.e., Greenwald) for publishing the court order. Charlie Savage & Edward Wyatt report. ...
... Ellen Nakashima of the Washington Post (where Greenwald's scoop is also the top story): "A senior Obama administration official said Thursday that the purported order 'does not allow the government to listen in on anyone's telephone calls' but relates only to 'metadata, such as a telephone number or the length of a call.' The official said such information 'has been a critical tool in protecting the nation from terrorist threats to the United States.' The official added that 'all three branches of government are involved in reviewing and authorizing intelligence collection' under the secret court, and Congress 'is regularly and fully briefed' on how the information is used."
David Graham of the Atlantic: "No more Mr. Nice President. For a brief few weeks this spring, the president was on what was universally, and rather uncreatively, described as a 'charm offensive.' But a series of high-profile power plays this week show suggest a White House that has either lost faith in the value of reaching out or is simply annoyed at a series of scandal investigations and isn't going to take it anymore. The moves may also reflect a concern that if the president doesn't move to set the tone for his second term, it may end up being defined by Republican-driven scandals. Whatever the case, the Obama Administration has this week dropped the 'charm' but is sticking with the 'offensive.'" ...
... Peter Baker of the New York Times: "The unapologetic selections reflect a conclusion in the West Wing that when it comes to choosing personnel, the president can never satisfy Republicans who will find almost anyone objectionable. But his choices also highlight the complicated second-term balancing act for a president unconstrained by re-election concerns and therefore freer to challenge Congress, yet still hoping to forge deals by courting the opposition with dinners and White House meetings." ...
... CW: what Baker doesn't say is that Obama's so-called "controversial" nominations may reflect a deal with Harry Reid to break the filibuster of presidential nominations. We'll find out this summer.
Zeke Miller of Time: "On Thursday President Barack Obama will take his second trip back to North Carolina since the November election. The visit to the swing state he won by a hair in 2008 but lost last time around is to announce a new program called ConnectED, a five-year initiative to bring high speed Internet to 99 percent of American students. But the repeat state visit -- one of only a handful so far in the second term -- also highlights the Democratic Party's frustrations in North Carolina, its toehold into the South."
Matt Miller, in the Washington Post: "Republican nihilism and intransigence -- huge problems, so please don't arrest me, false equivalency police! -- can't explain the Democratic ambition gap. In fact, it's not clear that anything in my depressing inventory above would be meaningfully different if the GOP had vanished or capitulated. Rare instances aside, this means Democrats aren't offering ideas equal to the magnitude of our problems. Republicans, meanwhile, can't even see what the problems are." ...
... Kevin Drum: "I just don't know any longer what I'm supposed to think about a political movement whose primary raison d'être, one they no longer even bother to conceal, is an almost gleeful immiseration of the poor for the benefit of the rich. How is it that the wealthiest country on earth has come to this?"
Jim Avila & Serena Marshall of ABC News: "Bipartisan meetings in the House of Representatives on a comprehensive immigration reform bill have failed.... The stumbling block is GOP insistence that newly legalized workers now working in the shadows have no access to government-sponsored health care during their 15-year pathway to citizenship.... Democrats say that since these newly legalized immigrants would be paying taxes they should be eligible for benefits. The stalemate is not expected to be solved and any immigration legislation from the House would likely proceed in piecemeal fashion." ...
... of the Hill: "Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) on Tuesday threatened to vote against the Gang of Eight immigration bill he helped draft unless there are further changes to the legislation.... On Monday, Rubio warned that the bill still did not have the 60 votes needed, contradicting his Gang of Eight colleagues Sens. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and John McCain (R-Ariz.) who said they hoped to win 70 votes, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) who said he believed he had the numbers to pass the bill." ...
... Marco's "Self-Fufilling Prophecy." Ed Kilgore: "So when Sen. Marco Rubio disagreed with the prevailing assumption that the Gang of Eight immigration bill had at least the 60 votes necessary to overcome a filibuster by his GOP colleagues, he knew something the rest of us didn't know: he was counting himself as a 'no' vote. And it turns out he's been working behind the scenes with John Cornyn (who voted against the bill in the Judiciary Committee) to draft an omnibus conservative 'poison pill' amendment to the bill that if passed would by all accounts unravel the whole bipartisan coalition...."
... Marco's Get-out-of-Immigration-Reform Card. David Drucker of the Washington Examiner: "Democrats are signaling their rejection of Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn's proposed amendment to the 'Gang of Eight' immigration reform bill. The Texas Republican on Wednesday unveiled a proposal he described as the 'antidote' for Republican concerns that the bill is too weak on border security. 'The Cornyn amendment ... would subject immigrants to a "trigger" that is unworkable - period,' [a Democratic] aide said. "This effort to make the pathway to citizenship unattainable is a bridge too far and it undermines a key principle of the reform bill.'" ...
... Jonathan Bernstein in the Washington Post: "The story on immigration reform remains very simple: Republicans, at some point, will have to decide whether they want it to pass or not. Not whether they'll vote for it -- most of them won't. But Democrats are happy to supply the bulk of the votes on this one, so all that matters is whether Republicans choose to let them or not."
Have Cake, Eating It, Too. So yesterday we heard that the GOP leadership loves Darrell Issa's attacks on the Obama administration. Today we hear from John Bresnahan & Jake Sherman of Politico that "Issa has earned the ire of Republican leadership with personal broadsides against the president and his aides." ...
... "Shameful." Jonathan Capehart of the Washington Post: "Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Calif.) will hold a hearing [Thursday] on what he says is lavish spending at the Internal Revenue Service.... But as with most things involving the chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, you have to separate fact from fiction, hyperbole from the ordinary." Ferinstance, "Issa is right about the number of conferences and their expense between 2010 and 2012. There were 225 conferences with a total price tag of $48,631,799. What Issa doesn't tell anyone is that spending on these IRS jamborees during that same period plummeted by 80 percent and that the number of conferences fell from 152 in 2010 to 24 in 2012." ...
... Stephen Ohlemacher & Alan Fram of the AP: "Internal Revenue Service officials can expect a grilling when they face lawmakers over the latest controversy to rock the agency: lavish spending at employee conferences. The IRS, however, is planning a robust defense at a congressional hearing Thursday. The agency has already imposed strict regulations to prevent expensive conferences in the future." ...
... Lisa Rein of the Washington Post: "The Internal Revenue Service said Wednesday that two managers who attended a conference the agency held in Southern California in 2010 have been placed on administrative leave for accepting free gifts in violation of government ethics standards. Acting Commissioner Danny Werfel said he has begun the process of firing the employees, who allegedly had free food delivered to their private hotel suites for a party during the three-day conference." ...
... According to John Stanton of BuzzFeed, one of the managers put on leave was "a top official in charge of implementing Obamacare." ...
... John McKinnon & Dionne Searcey of the Wall Street Journal: "Two Internal Revenue Service employees in the agency's Cincinnati office told congressional investigators that IRS officials in Washington helped direct the probe of tea-party groups that began in 2010. Transcripts of the interviews, viewed Wednesday by The Wall Street Journal, appear to contradict earlier statements by top IRS officials, who have blamed lower-level workers in Cincinnati." ...
... AND, following up on a Politico story linked yesterday, David Burghart in the National Memo: "When a gaggle of local Tea Party leaders came before the House Ways and Means Committee, complaining that their organizations had been unfairly and unconstitutionally 'targeted by the Internal Revenue Service for their personal beliefs,' the reception by the Republicans who control the committee was predictably credulous. Once more the June 4 hearings provided Tea Party groups an opportunity to play the victim and listen to politicians praise their courage and patriotism. But a closer examination of these particular Tea Party outfits by the Institute for Research and Education on Human Rights found copious evidence of political activity that might well have disqualified their requests for 501(c)(4) non-profit status.... The Republican leadership demonstrated no interest in ascertaining the actual facts of Tea Party involvement in prohibited political activity.... The unaddressed scandal is that the IRS let so many of these groups get away with what appear to be severe violations of the law. Toward the hearing's conclusion, Rep. Bill Pascrell (D-NJ) indicated that the IRS' flagging of groups by name had been wrong but noted, 'No one has a God-given right to a tax-exempt status.' Tell that to the Tea Party."
Richard Lardner & Donna Cassata of the AP: "The outcry over the epidemic of sexual assaults in the military is spurring Congress to act, with a House panel moving ahead on Wednesday on stripping commanders of the ability to overturn convictions in rape and assault cases....The full House is expected to vote on the bill next week."
Ricardo Lopez of the Los Angeles Times: "In addition to the expected demand for more nurses and doctors to treat millions of newly insured patients, the federal Affordable Care Act is feeding a cottage industry in call centers. The law ... has spawned a hiring blitz by the state, major health insurers and many community groups that have to decode a lot of insurance lingo in a short amount of time to an incredibly diverse population. Before it rolls out its health insurance marketplace, called Covered California, the state is hiring hundreds of people at three call centers set to open this fall when enrollment begins Oct. 1. The state also needs an additional 20,000 enrollers across the state to inform consumers about their new health insurance options and the new penalties under the federal law if they don't get coverage starting in January. Those enrollers, who will earn $58 for each sign-up, will primarily work for nonprofit and community groups assisting the state."
Sarah Kliff of the Washington Post: "The White House has lost its bid to delay a ruling that makes emergency contraceptives available to women and girls of all ages. Three judges from the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit did grant the White House its requested delay to keep one-pill products, like Plan B One-Step, restricted to females 15 and over. The court will not, however, allow any age restrictions on other two-pill emergency contraceptive products."
Josh Gerstein of Politico: "Former CIA Director Leon Panetta revealed the name of the Navy SEAL unit that carried out the Osama bin Laden raid and named the unit's ground commander at a 2011 ceremony attended by 'Zero Dark Thirty' filmmaker Mark Boal, according to a draft Pentagon inspector general's report obtained by a watchdog group. Panetta also disclosed classified information designated as 'top secret' and 'secret' during his presentation at the awards ceremony, says the draft IG report published Wednesday by the Project on Government Oversight.... The report does not make clear whether Panetta was aware that Boal was present at the ceremony.... The release of the findings in the draft report may also raise questions about why the document has been under wraps for so long, and which of its conclusions were known to White House officials prior to last November's election."
Abby Goodnough of the New York Times: "Since the [Affordable Care Act]'s passage in March 2010, critics have spent a total of about $400 million on television ads that refer to it, according to a new analysis by the Campaign Media Analysis Group at Kantar Media, which tracks such spending. Supporters have spent less than a quarter of that -- about $75 million -- on ads that cast the law in a positive light, according to the analysis. The biggest advertiser in support of the law has been the Department of Health and Human Services, which has run educational ads that mention it. Most of the negative ads have come from Republican outside groups, including Crossroads GPS, which was founded by Karl Rove and other top Republican strategists, and the National Republican Congressional Committee." ...
... Steve Benen: "With a public-relations imbalance like that, it's hardly a surprise that the public remains skeptical."
Aaron Blake & Rachel Weiner of the Washington Post: "As is befitting for a man known for his sense of humor, Frank Lautenberg's funeral was full of funny moments. But Vice President Biden outdid other speakers with a humorous tribute." Blake & Weiner publish some of Biden's punchlines.
Ashley Parker of the New York Times: "On Friday, John Dingell, 86, [of Michigan] the former Democratic powerhouse who asserted jurisdiction over vast expanses of federal policy as the intimidating chairman of the Energy and Commerce Committee, will become the longest-serving member of Congress in history with his 20,997th day as a representative, surpassing the record held by Senator Robert C. Byrd, Democrat of West Virginia."
Jamie Stengle of the AP: "Susan G. Komen for the Cure is canceling half of its 3-day charity races next year because of a drop in participation levels, a spokeswoman for the ... breast cancer organization said Wednesday. The announcement comes about a year and a half after Komen experienced intense backlash after news became public of its decision to stop giving grants to Planned Parenthood for breast screenings. The funding was restored days later, though it didn't quell the controversy."
Lindsey Graham Isn't Sure About Me. Brian Fung of the National Journal: "'Who is a journalist is a question we need to ask ourselves,' he said. 'Is any blogger out there saying anything -- do they deserve First Amendment protection? These are the issues of our times.' The verbal slipup aside (of course bloggers are covered under the Bill of Rights!), Graham's riffing on constitutional law exposes one of the age-old tensions between journalism as a product and journalism as an activity. What Graham really meant to ask was whether bloggers deserve the specific protections of the First Amendment that are granted to the press.... But as the line between blogger and journalist has blurred, a far more relevant challenge is figuring out whether those protections apply to the behavior of finding and passing on (sometimes secret) information, or if they apply only to people with little plastic ID badges to prove their affiliation." CW: I thought all I needed was a cheap computer. Now I find I may need a plastic card, too.
Gail Collins: "... nothing major is going to happen for early-childhood education without an enormous groundswell of public demand. This is a cause that's extremely popular in theory. But its advocates have no power to reward or punish. Lawmakers who labor on behalf of preschool programs may get stars in heaven, but they don't get squat in campaign contributions. And the ones who eliminate money for infant care programs have no fear whatsoever that they'll lose an election over it."
CNN has the video of Michelle Obama's encounter with a heckler (see yesterday's Commentariat & Comments):
Right Wing World
Will Weissert of the AP: " A coalition of civil rights organizations filed a judicial misconduct complaint Tuesday against a conservative federal judge for comments she allegedly made during a speech that are seen as discriminatory. Judge Edith Jones of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals based in New Orleans addressed the University of Pennsylvania law school on Feb. 20. Her comments were not recorded, but five students and one attorney who were in attendance signed affidavits on what was said.... Jones is accused of saying that certain 'racial groups like African-Americans and Hispanics are predisposed to crime,' and are 'prone to commit acts of violence' and be involved in more violent and 'heinous' crimes than people of other ethnicities.... Jones, who was believed to be on President George H.W. Bush's short list for the Supreme Court [Bush nominated David Souter instead], has been an outspoken critic of the Supreme Court and judges who do not adhere to a constructionist view of the law." Ronald Reagan appointed her to the Fifth Circuit. ...
... Ethan Bronner of the New York Times has more. ...
... AND Jordan Smith of the Austin Chronicle has even more.
David Crary of the AP: "In suburban Atlanta, northern Idaho and a number of other places, churches have moved swiftly to sever ties with the Boy Scouts of America in protest over the vote last month to let openly gay boys participate in Scouting. To date, it's far from the mass defection that some conservatives had predicted before the vote by the BSA's National Council. But the exodus could soon swell, depending on the outcome of the Southern Baptist Convention's annual meeting next week in Houston. Baptist leaders say the agenda is likely to include a resolution encouraging SBC-affiliated churches to phase out their sponsorships of Scout units."
Congressional Race
Here are analyses of the Markey-Gomez debate in the U.S. Senate special election to replace John Kerry of Massachusetts: Jim O'Sullivan of the Globe suggests neither was ready for prime-time. David Bernstein of the Boston Daily says both "passed their tests."
Local News
Mary Walsh of the New York Times: "Jefferson County, Ala., took a big step toward resolving its historic bankruptcy case on Tuesday, saying it had reached an agreement to refinance most of the debt at the heart of its financial breakdown.... JPMorgan [Chase] was widely expected to make big concessions as part of any bankruptcy settlement, because some former officials of the bank were found to have been involved in improprieties in connection with a county debt refinancing in 2002 and 2003.... A lawsuit by the county against JPMorgan over the improprieties, still active in state court, would be resolved as part of the proposed agreement." ...
... Charles Pierce: "What gets missed then, of course, is how these minor crooks got played by the big-league crooks in the financial-services sector, who look at other people's money the way other creatures look at carrion, and who look at people outside their industry as prey. Of course, Morgan found Jefferson County. It smelled easy money the way sharks smell blood, and of course it drained Jefferson County dry and threw away the husk. That is the system we have learned to tolerate, and even, in many cases, applaud."
News Ledes
NBC News: "Two Massachusetts men filed a lawsuit against The New York Post on Wednesday, saying they were falsely portrayed as the suspects behind the deadly Marathon bombing."
New York Times: "Esther Williams, a teenage swimming champion who became an enormous Hollywood star in a decade of watery MGM extravaganzas, died on Thursday in Beverly Hills, Calif. She was 91."
Philadelphia Inquirer: "A woman was found alive late last night amid the rubble of the collapse of two buildings in Center City that left five women and one man dead in one of Philadelphia's biggest tragedies in recent memory. The collapse occurred as shoppers fatefully filled the Salvation Army thrift story on a busy Wednesday morning, unaware that an excavation crew ripping down walls at a gutted building next door was about to yank a beam with heavy machinery. Bystanders rushed to help...."
AP: "Commemorations of the 69th annniversary of D-Day have begun with the stars-and-stripes being raised in a quiet ceremony at the American cemetery overlooking Omaha Beach. Tourists, many from the U.S. and Britain, gathered in the still morning under a brilliant spring sky to witness the flag-raising amid the neat rows of thousands of white marble crosses and Stars of David marking the graves of U.S. servicemen and women fallen in the Allied invasion of Normandy that began June 6, 1944."
AP: "Heavy rain was pouring across much of Florida early Thursday as the first tropical storm of the Atlantic hurricane season headed toward the state's western coast and a new tropical storm warning was issued for a swath of the U.S. East Coast. Tropical storm warnings were in effect for a large section of Florida's west coast from Boca Grande to Indian Pass and for the East Coast from Flagler Beach, Fla., all the way to Cape Charles Light in Virginia." CW: it sure did pour in Fort Myers.
Reuters: "Syrian rebels seized a U.N.-manned crossing between Syria and Israeli-occupied territory on Thursday, opposition sources said, but Israeli security sources reported Syrian troops later retook it after heavy fighting. The rarely used crossing, in a U.N.-patrolled demilitarized zone on the Golan Heights, is the only transit point between Syrian and Israeli disengagement lines set in 1974. Battles for its control seemed likely to heighten Israeli security concerns stoked by Syria's civil war."
Reuters: "North and South Korea announced on Thursday they were planning to hold talks for the first time since February 2011, signaling attempts to repair ties that have been ruptured for months."
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Reader Comments (17)
Note to BSA: We're here, we're queer. We have been in the boy scouts for eons, we've been in the military for eons, we've been in all of those homophobic corporations for eons, so just get over it.
How do we get across to these genetically homophobics that we're
just trying to do the same f-----g things everyone else in this world
is---work, pay taxes, love someone. WTF, I need a drink!
NSA gone wild:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jun/06/nsa-phone-records-verizon-court-order?CMP=twt_gu
Marco Rubio is trying to employ big boy gamesmanship. Unfortunately for him, his big boy skivvies have a large hole in the seat. I think by the time the 2016 election rolls around he will have eliminated himself.
I think Marco the Rubio has already eliminated himself in 2016. Let's face it: his elevator does not go to the top floor--even in a 6 story building. Stupid is as stupid does.
Forrest,
I'll buy you that drink.
The BSA decision to allow gay scouts but to continue its ban on gay adults as leaders is, I feel, a transitional step, a bit like "don't ask, don't tell", a flawed and rather silly half-step that pretended to offer some conciliation but reinforced the discrimination it was supposed to address.
As long as the BSA continues its discrimination against gay adults it's saying to the kids that it's fine (sort of) if they're gay as long as they're kids, but once they're of age, it's out the door and don't come back.
It seems that a number of scouts see the hypocrisy there. In Utah recently, scouts and scout leaders, against the express orders of the local BSA big-wig, marched in a gay pride parade (bad enough) wearing their uniforms (much worse). The BSA muck-a-muck whined that it wasn't right because scouts should be trustworthy.
Huh.
Trustworthy, eh? What's untrustworthy about showing support for a group that the BSA is now (partially) admitting into its ranks? And while we're on the subject of trustworthiness, how about that secret list of child molesters the Boy Scouts has been protecting for decades? You should read some of the accounts of the actions of molesters, some for years, covered up by the BSA, an organization that supposedly has as its objective, the goal of helping to bring up healthy, well adjusted individuals. I'd say years of molestation under the watchful eyes of the BSA is an epic fail in that regard.
So, the BSA, who protects predatory child molesters and discounts the valuable service an entire segment of the population because of sexual orientation is trustworthy, but scouts who march in a gay pride parade are not. Got it?
Despite the imminent rejection of Scouting by the Southern Baptist Conference and its members, the tide of public sentiment is moving in the opposite direction. Maybe it's a good thing that many religious organizations drop out. Their influence so far has not been overly salutary it seems.
Eventually, as with DADT, this half-ass measure will be turned back allowing full membership and opportunities for participation for everyone. But who knows how long that will take?
Move over. I'll join you in that drink.
From the Baker/NYT article on the President's nominations of Rice and Power:
"... he has been choosing appointees and nominees he knew would provoke fights with Republicans, almost as if trying to redeem the moment.
The unapologetic selections reflect a conclusion in the West Wing that when it comes to choosing personnel, the president can never satisfy Republicans who will find almost anyone objectionable."
Mr. Baker's tone conveys that the President is being provocative, yet in adjoining sentences he makes it clear that the GOP would not find ANY appointee unobjectionable. So, of course the President knows he will provoke fights. As if he has a choice? And HE is supposed to be "apologetic" about the situation? I think it is enough that he is POLITE, and I remain impressed by his ability to remain so in the face of unremitting provocation.
God, I miss copy editors, and journalists who proof their own text.
@PD Pepe: Who's going to collect theb flat tax? Akhilleus knows: Tax Farmers! Tearing a leaf from Ancient Rome. Tax fatmers bid on the ability to collect taxes for the government Tax collecting cntracts should be very lucrative in our day, too.
To paraphrase Tom Leherer: Don't let anything the governmeny does evade your eyes, but privatize privatize privatize!
Re: the FBI collecting phone records. Any legislative body dumb enough to pass the Patriot Act (and extend it) shouldn't be surprised by this situation. As Kate said "Stupid is as stupid does."
Re: the BSA.
The Scouts are affixed in an interesting quandary, as institutions perennially are when social norms and demographics shift. Currently seventy percent of Boy Scout groups are faith-affiliated and by far the greatest number of those affiliations are with the Mormon Church.
From what I've recently read, the current Mormon position on homosexuality is that urges in that direction are not in themselves sinful but acting on those urges (to the point of physical contact?) is. Therefore gay boys are acceptable Scouts as long as they don't "act" gay. Presumably, in the church's mind adult gays have likely passed the point of no return, reside in the land of sin and are hence not welcome as leaders.
So, the BSA's acceptance of gay troop members and rejection of gay adult leaders is as Akilleus notes a DADTell equivalent. It acknowledges that homosexuality is not in all circumstances sinful, must not always and everywhere be proscribed and stamped out but very practically threads the needle manufactured by contemporary Mormon theology.
In short, the BSA and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are joined at the hip, with numbers dictating that the former is far more dependent on the relationship than the latter.
@Akhilleus: I think the Boy Scout motto is "It's Okay to Be Gay; It Is Not Okay to Act Gay." Shorter version: no sex.
A former husband of mine was a Boy Scout, & he showed me his Boy Scout manual which contained a two-page lecture on the evils of masturbation. One consequence: a boy who masturbated could end up in a "lunatic asylum." We thought it was hilarious. They were against sex then; they're against sex now.
Marie
@Ak: I'll be having that drink next Thursday with Ted Turner's ex,
Judy, not Jane. Odd that all three of his wives had names starting
with J. Wish you could join us, she's a great gal.
Forrest,
Tell Judy I said hello. Ted is not the first to cleave to certain names.
Johnny Carson had three wives whose names were all variations on Joanna and according to a character in a Monty Python's sketch about Eric the Half a Bee, all of Kemel Ataturk's pets were named Abdul.
And, as Georgia has no state drink, I suggest something potent enough to provide an active and providential anesthetic effect, perhaps Irish whiskey (Jameson's or Black Bush), single malt scotch, or some version of John Barleycorn.
If she were a fan of classical history, I'd suggest retsina as long as the two of you have a couple of days to recover.
Enjoy.
Re: Be prepared; it's the motto. Drinks all around.
Marie,
What! You mean there isn't a merit badge for wanking?
The idea! I mean, you can spend years learning to tie various knots (the Monkey's Fist knot comes to mind) but those are immaterial next to the number of ways to spank the monkey.
Surely the BSA would acknowledge the skill set required for public/private pocket pool. And, as JJG reminds us, it's important to be prepared.
Drinks help.
AK: too many drinks and you can't wake the monkey up. My first wife taught me that.
@ forrest morris, a movie star name if there ever was one, and I, too, would like to imbibe with you and Akhilleus in some dark bar along with Judy, not Jane. That Boy Scout motto of cleanliness is next to godliness is seeped into their pia mater––deep in the crevices. I was a Brownie before I was a Girl Scout and hated it–-especially those horrid uniforms. Sex was never discussed, we being girls and all, but the purity angle was always hinted at. Idle hands are the devil's workshop motto kept us busy as bees.
@Ak: Monty Python's Eric the half a bee was one of the funniest sketches ever and reduced me to tears of laughter when I first heard it in 1970 something.
@PDPepe. I was a Brownie too. My mother, who was way cool for her time, which I didn't realize until I was growed, was a co-leader. Apparently she had some type of momentary pang of guilt about being a suburban mother in the early 1960's. She came to her senses in a few months. I suspect the "gackgoon went the little green frog" song had a hand in her exit. I went on to the Girl Scouts, but was unceremoniously kicked out after the 1st meeting when I tried to teach the other scouts one of my dad's uncensored Marine diddies.